Did you ever have one of those days when there was nothing you wanted to do but you didn't want to do nothing? It's the kind of day when you are presented with a long list of "have to do's", and an equally long list of "want to dos" and yet, nothing really inspires you, or feels like exactly the right thing to do? So, instead of doing anything you sort of wonder around from task to task, or find more things to add to either list, still without finding an appealing option. All of this just makes you feel like you are "wasting time". In kid land, this is called "I'm bored". This feeling is NEVER relieved with parent suggestions for either work or play. That's the thing, the feeling can't quite be solved. Hmm...
Dr. Bach didn't create an essence for "boredom". There are a few Bach flower essences that, at first glance seem as though they might be a fit for this emotion, but like the problem itself- nothing that's just quite right! When that's the case with Bach therapy, you have to dissect the emotion further to really find the route of the discontent. Sometimes the "thing" we think of as an emotion is really a combination of feelings and for that, it's a combination of essences that match better than individual remedies. The combination of the remedies is more than the sum of the parts.
Bach essences need to be matched to individuals, but the combination that might help lift your disconnect/boredom could be Hornbeam, Wild Oat, Wild Rose, and Impatiens. For me, this combination appears more by excluding the others.
The sensation of disconnect/boredom I'm talking about has nothing to do with fear. It isn't the fear of starting a project, or not being good at something. It's not the sensation of being unsure where to begin, or being afraid of either success or failure. This means you can role out Rock Rose, Mimulus, Cherry Plum, Aspen and Red Chestnut- they are all for different types of fear.
This feeling of not finding what you want to be doing, in my opinion, doesn't have anything to do with others. It's something internal, not solved by looking at how you relate to others. So you can role out Agrimony, Centaury, Walnut, and Holly. They are all within the category of oversensitivity and really address issues that have some component of how we feel or react to others.
The boredom or searching I'm talking about also is not about being led astray by others, or convinced to do something others want done, or being frustrated because others aren't doing their part in the project. It isn't a sensation that other people are irritating or not doing something according to your strict standards. So that rules out the essences within the category of "overcare for others' welfare" and includes Rock Water, Beech, Vine, Vervain and Chicory.
This isn't a great despair emotion, or a real angst feeling. It doesn't feel that deeply rooted or dramatic. Rather, it is something that just sometimes seems to surface. So you can rule out the category of "Despondency and Despair" and that includes Larch, Pine, Elm, Sweet Chestnut, Star of Bethlehem, Willow, Oak, and Crab Apple.
That leaves three categories to consider; Uncertainty, Lack of Interest in Present Circumstances, and Loneliness. Hmm...
I think boredom and disconnection are a combination of feelings found within these three categories. Definitely it is a feeling of uncertainty. It's that emotion of not knowing where to direct your energy and attention. I think it's a bit of Hornbeam and just not knowing where to focus, and a little bit of Wild Oat- too many options on those "to do lists" to pick. It isn't a decision between two things, which would point to Scleranthus and it isn't the Cerato feeling of not trusting yourself. You just can't figure yourself out to get started.
The category of "Lack of Interest in Present Circumstances" certainly needs review. I rule out Clematis, because at least for me, when I'm daydreaming I'm happy to be there. The feeling I'm talking about is a dissatisfaction with being disconnected. Clematis types enjoy the distraction. Nor is it about the Honeysuckle longing for things to be as they were in the past, quite the contrary, it's a yearning for something you can't quite define. There is no lack of energy as might be suggested by Olive, tons of energy- just no idea where to direct it. This emotion wouldn't be classified as depression for which Mustard might be appropriate. It isn't a sadness exactly. Nor does the "thoughts going around in your head" nature of White Chestnut seem appropriate. For me, I can't quite attach to any thoughts in particularly! Chestnut Bud gave me pause because I might have been here before with this dilemma, but that doesn't feel quite right. In the past, I at least, have probably redirected this boredom/waiting/ disconnect with yet another project that spun off to never never land. Or "wasted time" window shopping, drinking coffee with friends, or spending money. This time, I'm not doing that- so I'm learning, I just haven't found quite the way to replace useless projects yet! Wild Rose definitely strikes a cord. Wild Rose is indicated when you are resigned to an unpleasant situation. This isn't exactly a feeling of giving up, or you wouldn't be looking for Bach essences to change it. But the positive aspect of Wild Rose; a lively interest in life, work, and the world in general certainly sounds good.
A lot of parents think that when kids say they are bored, they mean they don't have anyone to play with and they are lonely. There are three essences within the category of loneliness: Water Violet, Heather and Impatiens. If your feelings could be solved by going "out and about" or doing something with a friend but you just can't quite make yourself go there, Water Violet is indicated. That's not a match for the boredom and disconnect I'm talking about though. For me at least, this is not solved by the distraction of good friends and socializing. I can be good at doing that, but that doesn't feel right either. Heather doesn't feel like a match in that this does not seem to have anything to do with a preoccupation with self. In fact, listening to other's problems might take your mind away from the issue and could be welcomed as a distraction or direction, but would only be a temporary fix. There is however a bit of an Impatiens component to the emotion, otherwise you would be content to "do nothing".
So my "anti-boredom" remedy contains equal parts Wild Rose, Wild Oat, Hornbeam and Impatiens. Wild Rose will lift the apathy that surrounds every one of those "to do items" so you can reconsider the lists again, maybe even add more options. Wild Oat will help you discover which one of those items (or another one altogether) really does stand out just a bit. Hornbeam will help you focus on the one you chose with some strength to keep at it. It may help you find a new approach to solve the problem so that tasks in fact, takes on a new vitality. Finally, Impatiens may ease your irritation and allow the world, to catch up with you and you to catch up with yourself. Maybe, just maybe, you'll find a little more peace in the "do nothing" phase.
I'd like to stay and chat.. but ... I've got things to do!
wow, u hit the nail on the button for me, a real tough pick, i like the arriving at the answer through the process of elimination
ReplyDeletelovely ;-)
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