It has been a strange day around here. Do you remember "backwards day" in elementary school? They never made a lot of sense to me but you were supposed to dress backwards and things that usually happened in the morning happened in the afternoon. You were supposed to eat breakfast for supper and everything was reversed. I vaguely remember a book theme of "topsy turvy day" or something like that. Maybe it was all to prepare me for today. I should have paid more attention.
It actually started yesterday. I was at a book signing and when I went to leave, reached in my purse and pulled out my keys. Only they weren't' mine! They looked remarkably like mine but "looking close" doesn't count when you're talking about keys. They were right at the top of this cavernous thing I call a purse and at the bottom were my own keys. I have no idea how those keys got there. It "feels" like someone must have put them there and yet that doesn't make sense either. I drove home wracking my brain about how I could have someone else's keys in addition to my own. I really haven't been that many places in the past few days so I started trying to retrace my steps. The weird thing is that I'm doing all this with a "found" set of keys, not because I lost my keys. I've been through this experience before, but in the reverse http://pixiedusthealing.blogspot.com/2010/10/impatiens-lost-keys.html This doesn't make sense. Almost 24 hours later, I have called every place I have been in the past four days asking if anyone reported missing keys. I even called the police station and the car dealership that matches one of the key chain pieces. Not only has no one heard of anyone missing any keys, they all seem rather perplexed by my explanation that I'm not missing keys, I've got extra keys. Of course, it is difficult to understand I suppose when they quite naturally say, "Where did you find them?" and I answer "In my purse"! Hmmm...
I keep thinking in some parallel universe some poor woman is frantically trying to find her keys. Probably by now she's had to explain to her workplace that they may have to change the locks, she can't get her mail out of the box, she's already changed house locks, and I assume she had a spare car key or she's worn out a pair of perfectly good shoes. Perhaps she's made a number of phone calls inquiring about keys. Undoubtedly all her friends have said "Where did you last have them?" I wonder if her answer is, "well... my purse"?
Still thinking about these keys this morning I went to pay a bill with cash. It was quite a bit of money and I had taken it out of an ATM machine the day before and folded it specially in my wallet (which was in my purse by the way!). Today I took out the folded money and counted it out, only to discover I had been shorted $80.00 by the banking machine. In a strange backwards way, I had kept the machine transaction. This led me to a serious of encounters both in person at the bank and over the phone with numerous other agencies to try and see if I can be reimbursed the money. The jury is still out on that one.
In the midst of all this strange confusion, I talk to Wise Woman. In fact, she tells me her car won't start this morning for some "strange" reason that seems unknown to anyone. In true Wise Woman fashion, she isn't particularly upset by this and just reports that "Mercury is in Retrograde" you know. Ahhh.... I should have known.... I had these issues before http://pixiedusthealing.blogspot.com/2011/04/mercury-retrograde-computer-issues.html
Never mind I figure. I'll just wait for someone to phone me back wanting their keys or returning my money. In the meantime I'll post on my blog this incredible book I've just finished reading. I barely get started writing when all is lost to cyberland and my Internet is down. I'm not at all surprised by this point, but figure I better go through the motions and call my provider. I expect to be led through a series of confusing test maneuvers of starting and restarting and pressing buttons I didn't even know were there. No so. The technician only asks me to confirm my address. The rest of the time I sit, phone pressed to my ear, hearing "okay", "okay", "okay"- all sounding like in fact it's really not "okay" at all. Nothing that can be done other than have a technician come out to the house to diagnose the problem. I've never had that happen before but am pleasantly surprised by such service. The next earliest appointment I can have is in 3 days time!! What??? No connection for 3 days! Surely the world will end? Then again, without connection, how will I even know?? Good thing I have Perelandra ETS Plus!
Strangely, I feel very calm about all of that. I guess I'm pacified by the thought that at least I'm not looking for my keys and having the locks changed. I have been taking Perelandra ETS Plus by the way. So I print off a hundred page document rather than email it, and head to a cafe to edit. I figure along the way I'll buy strawberries from the woman that always parks by the side of the road selling those really good, "fresh today" berries. Seems like a good idea to make more strawberry wine. She's there of course, just like I knew she would be, except she only has beans left. She's sold out of strawberries already today!!
On the way home I pass a computer service truck. There's a guy up there in the bucket and it appears he might be doing something to the cable line that eventually, magically, supplies me with computer connection. Sure enough, I come home without strawberries, but with an edited document, my purse, my keys, an extra set, and I'm connected to the world again.
So that's Mercury in Retrograde, Topsy Turvy day. Now, I feel back to the same place I started- sort of...
So if you lost your keys- call me. If you have money to return to me- call me. If your computer still works, but you have had a similar experience- email me. If you need a technician I think there's an opening 3 days from now. Otherwise, I'll go back to that great book I was reading. Maybe I'll read it from the back forward and see what happens.
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