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Monday, April 30, 2012

Indecision & Uncertainty

It's Monday morning and after a couple of cups of coffee, some email replies that only led to more questions, some web surfing that had me seriously considering a PhD course I'd really like to take, a couple of  half hearted attempts to get "settled into some work", a "to do list" made, but not followed,  and more than a bit of procrastination, I decided to focus on writing a blog post.  That sounded pretty good until I realized I couldn't decide what I should write about.  Hmm....

A cup of tea, a ginger cookie, a bit more aimless wondering and I realized what I should be writing about was perhaps indecison and uncertainty!  Sort of that "no idea where I should start" syndrome that often follows me around.

I've written about this feeling before. It's a pattern for me. If you search "indecision" and "uncertainty" in the search button you'll find a few musings.  If you're procrastinating yourself, you'll be set for a few minutes!  But, if you'd like to follow me in my path to get out of this pattern, keep reading.

Dr. Bach put his 38 essences into 7 categories.  One of those categories in "uncertainty".  Within this category, there are a total of 6 essences. These include;  Gentian, Gorse, Cerato, Scleranthus, Hornbeam and Wild Oat. Sometimes, when selecting the right essence, it can become a process of eliminating the potential suspects.

Gentian and Gorse really don't address the type of uncertainty and indecision I'm feeling. Gentian helps when you are feeling discouraged or depressed when facing difficulties. It can help if you're feeling the obstacles are so great that you don't know where to start.  That's not my issue today. Quite the contrary- no real obstacles but myself.

Gorse is almost a degree up from Gentian. The Gentian state of discouragement can sometimes progress to Gorse and is described as extreme hopelessness and despair. If all those obstacles just won't go away and you can seem to make a dent in the problem, you may find yourself slipping into a Gorse state when you  just give up. It can take a few drops of Gorse to discover there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Both Gentian and Gorse speak to a sense of depression that doesn't fit with my restless uncertainty.  Quite the opposite, I feel "all things are possible". Hmm...

So that leaves Cerato, Scleranthus, Hornbeam and Wild Oat.

I've written a lot about Cerato.  In my opinion, it's a real fundamental essence. Cerato is helpful when you need to connect to your inner self a bit and trust your inner wisdom. When you're in a Cerato state you ask around for other's opinions. You ask for help and suggesitons and keep seeking advice, not really happy in the answers you receive. Well, I did consider asking a couple of people about that PhD program. I considered setting up some meetings to see if I could get sponsorship. But I wasn't really looking for advice. Perhaps that's a deeper layer, but for the moment, on Monday, these feelings seem a bit more superficial.

Scleranthus is the really helpful essence if you can't choose between two things. This essence is near and dear to my heart.  If I had been torn between taking the day off and getting down to work for instance I would consider this essence. I'm not even close to two alternatives at this point.  The possible options seem endless and equally exciting.

With a number of possibilities in sight we're talking about Wild Oat. I am a frequent flyer for this essence as well.  Wild Oat personalities become easily bored and unsettled.  They  often try several different careers (or PhD's!) but continue to drift. With so many opportunities available, they become undecided which way they should turn. This partially describes where I might be, although Wild Oat is frequently reserved for major decisions or being at a cross-roads. It's helpful for the big questions of career, partner, or finding a true path.  I haven't ruled it out yet, but I'm going to think about Hornbeam.

Hornbeam is sometimes referred to as the "Monday morning feeling" essence. I guess I should think about that on this- Monday morning! When in a Hornbeam state you tend to procrastinate and lack enthusiasm for the tasks at hand. Ah ha...  Hornbeam speaks to a mental weariness rather than a physical one. Perhaps that's hard to tell after three cups of caffeinated drinks, but even before those cups I really wasn't lacking in energy- just focus.

Hornbeam is a deciduous hardwood tree.  It's an extremely hard timber.  Hornbeam was used in the days before iron and steel for the moving parts of machinery. The toughness of the wood was described as being more like a horn than a wood- hence it's name. Yet the wood catches on fire easily and burns with a fierce intensity of both heat and bright flame. In Bach Flower Remedies; Form and Function, Julian Barnard claims there is no folk lore around the Hornbeam tree. It's just admired for it's beauty in flower and it's utility in timber. No mystery, no big secrets, just an ability to transform energy into action. Sounds like the "Just Do It" slogan. And who can argue with that on a Monday morning!

Bottoms up!

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