Monday, December 13, 2010
Isolation, Social Obligations & Water Violet
If today's picture has you recoiling in horror at the very thought of crowds, parties and yet another "merriment occasion" - this entry is for you!
A lot of people have been telling me they felt as though they wanted to be isolated lately. I know what they mean. People that were used to being very sociable and enjoy the company of others were describing a sense of turning inward and not feeling like being around other people. For people that tend to crave "private time" anyway, the feeling was/is very intense.
Perhaps we are more in tune to nature's cycles when we seem to have this sense of "hibernation". During these short days nature seems to be in a time of quiet preparation for rebirth and renewal and I don't think that's the kind of thing that is very often done as a group!
And yet- we have this thing called "Christmas", followed shorty thereafter by "New Year's". We humans seem to be pushing ourselves into social events around both of those occasions. There is increased pressure to "get together with friends and family", and "toast the season".
For people that don't enjoy crowds in the first place, a trip to the mall these days can be enough to push you "over the edge"- and rightly so! No one seems to be enjoying the crowds and yet - we are all in there.
Perhaps because Christmas itself falls on a weekend this year, Christmas parties and celebrations seem more concentrated within last weekend and next. For dual career families that often means two Christmas office parties in the same weekend. Office get-to-gathers can often be socially awkward situations even for the most outgoing in the group as people are never really sure how to "act".
Maybe that's the key. Maybe we are tired of "acting" in particular roles and fulfilling obligations because they ware expected of us. Perhaps that's the social struggle that a lot of people are dealing with this year.
For some people I know, this year has been a time to really change the rules. Many people have downsized in the size and number of parties, events, and obligations they attend. Others have become much more selective in who they choose to be around.
If none of that "scale-back" is an option for you, Water Violet is a Bach Flower essence that might be helpful. In a previous blog, I talked about Water Violet for loneliness. It is the essence that is helpful for people that tend to be solitary but need to rise to the social occasion. Water Violet types are often quite content to be alone, but occasionally they become lonely and because they haven't built up big support networks, the loneliness can be acute. For others, Water Violet is a passing phase. It might be brought on by the short days, the winter months, negative energy or social obligations among other things. If you find yourself really wanting to "hunker down in your pajamas" and go nowhere, there might not be anything wrong with that. But if you do have to get out, water violet might help you trade in the purple moose pajamas for something more socially acceptable.
Maybe we would all feel more comfortable going out to the social events if the dress code were pajamas only? Instead of "comfort food" we could have "comfort clothes". Hmm...